Honor Roll

As I venture where every married woman has gone before, I'm learning all about the sneaky marketing tricks businesses use to provide the service of helping you part with your paychecks. Don't think because these wedding businesses are run by women with heart-shaped jewelry and frosted lipstick that they are going to be as soft and fuzzy with their pricing!

I channeled the business major in me and jotted down a couple of the scenarios to watch out for!

The Bait and Switch
-Oooh this photography package only costs one dollar sign? But wait, if I want a human photographer it costs two dollar signs? And then it's another three dollar signs to actually develop the film???

The "Platinum" Package
-You're worth it. You only get married once. Or, you only get married twice and this time you better do it right! Did I mention you're worth it?

The Schwag
-Pay for the Mercedes of flower packages, including the lifesize Mercedes MADE out of flowers, and we'll throw in this super awesome keychain in the shape of a flower FOR FREE! Why haven't you signed up yet? For you, we'll throw in a tote bag!

The All-Exclusive
-The venue fee includes the walls, the floors and the roof. If you want lights, that's extra. If you want heat or A/C, that's extra. If you want sound, that's extra. If you want the outside, that's extra... you get the idea.




So, to keep things positive and solution-oriented here on Way Too Much Wedding, I am going to begin my Honor Roll series where each week I will highlight a business that passes my No B.S. standard. These are businesses that respect our time, our intelligence and our money! They are the people who go out of their way to make us feel special and NOT just after they find out we want the Platinum Package (you don't need the Platinum Package! See above).

Next Wednesday I will announce the first business to make my Honor Roll- and it just so happens to be the venue I booked for my own wedding!!! The lovebug and I booked this past weekend and we are so excited! I can't to share it with everyone next week!

Until then, enjoy the cliffhanger :)

Ring Envy

Ok, I said I wasn't going to do this on the blog, but I just CANNOT resist.

Have you ever heard of or visited the site Ring Envy? It's tacky, horrifying and basically the embodiment of everything that is wrong with weddings nowadays.

And yet... like a new pair of silicone fun bags on the Real Housewives, I cannot turn away! I'm addicted, though not for the reasons I imagine the women who post would expect. I just can't help but judge the $$$$$ring/fake nail combo! I'm a bad person I know.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh?

DIY or Die!

Dear Wedding,
I thought I was going to have you, but in the end you had me. Well played.

This woman's letter to her wedding scares me.

While I applaud the thrifty DIY aspirations, it sounds like a generally miserable experience and a perfect example of WTMWS.

"I thought my head would explode from making invitations and dresses and finding plates and utensils and tablecloths and buying food and agonizing over finding a suit and making sure everyone got there and planning the ceremony and realizing last minute I wanted flowers and making bouquets and feeling guilty about wanting to arrange them myself and making signs and cards and decorations and basically asking everyone I know to show me their love through sheer hard labor."

And...

"You [the wedding] also made my husband and I fight so much that we almost didn't get married."

YIKES! A cautionary tale for overly ambitious DIYers! Don't say you haven't been warned!

Weekend Words of Wisdom

It's easy when planning a wedding to get, as my fiance puts it, "Wedding Goggles." $5000 site fee? Cheap! Only $3500 for a dress? Affordable! A wedding album for $800? A STEAL!

It's times like these that I have to remind myself that this is a whole bunch of money, for one day. And I've already got everything I need to be happy.

So take a deep breath and always remember to:

Keep.

Your.

Perspective.

Royally Reasonable

Copyright AP Images, via The Washington Post

Could it be possible that Will and Kate are avoiding WTMWS? Reasonable and Royal tend to not fall in the same sentence, but I love the vein of this article from real estate blog Curbed!

"Presumably in preparation for an upcoming appearance on Rich Bride, Poor Bride, a British couple named William and Kate toured several rental ballrooms in Slough, England, before deciding to save a little money by holding their wedding reception at his grandmother's house instead."

I. Love. It.
And check out where the lovely couple plans to honeymoon! How tastefully understated!

Oh the Irony!

Brooklyn is known for it's hipsters and their ironic penchant for irony. But the other day, while researching venues, I came across a fantastic example of matrimonial irony right here in my 'hood:

The Williamsburg Savings Bank

The site fee is $15k (rumor has it they'll lower that to $12.5k for local Brooklynites).

Though pricey, I do think this is a gorgeous event space if you can afford it AND have enough of a sense of humor to recognize that dropping bank to have your wedding IN a bank is pretty freaking funny. You can even have your reception in the vault! No need to mail in the check, just leave it at the alter!

If this place weren't so damn beautiful, the Williamsburg trustafarians would be all over it.

Since I would have to drain my bank account for this bank wedding, I'll keep looking for venues. But if I did choose this place, I would totally have jars of lollipops and dog biscuits at every table. You could even make your thank you notes look like checks!

Too Trendy

This week's edition of Too Trendy highlights a trend that is not new, but so in your face out there that I couldn't resist:

Cupcakes!

Clockwise from top left: Robert Sukrachand, Leo Patrone via Style Me Pretty, Karen Wise, Belathée and Jen Huang

*
You: Love your mini cooper, HBO miniseries, running mini marathons and your miniature collie. You just LOVE miniatures! And your wedding cake is no exception! Especially since that brand new cupcake specialty bakery opened up right down the street (not THAT brand new specialty cupcake shop, the other one). Cupcakes are the next revolution! LET THEM EAT (cup)CAKE!

Except, that since everyone now likes their cakes in the shape of cups, these individual-sized dollops of delight are now ridiculously expensive. Like, just as, if not more, expensive as a real wedding cake. So a noble thought, but no brownie points from me. Brownies? BROWNIES?!!! I think I smell another trend...

Check out my previous Too Trendy post!
Mustache Pics


*Disclaimer: While I may be poking fun at a trend, I am including photos from photographers, many of whom I admire greatly, and in no way mean to degrade their art. Nor do I doubt that these are lovely brides and grooms who have worked with lovely vendors. But WTMW Syndrome can happen to anyone- so beware!