Wedding Crashers

This weekend my sweetie and I attended our very first (and possibly last) wedding fair. In typical outlaw outer-borough fashion it was called "Wedding Crashers" and was comprised of only Brooklyn-based vendors. While wedding crashers conjures images of rejecting convention, I found none of the vendors or guests to be particularly anti-establishment. I'm pretty that everyone there (like me) was a ticket-paying invitee.

This was just your standard frou-frou scary wedding fair. And I should have known better. The the guerrilla wedding free-for-all event is so not my style! And from what I learned, we were only at a “small, intimate” show.

Drink up! You're gonna need it!

Though I left wondering what the hell motivated me to go to one of these things, I actually DO remember what I was thinking when I signed up for the event. I thought we would be able to gain specific information from vendors who have ample experience producing weddings in the Brooklyn and NYC area. I thought this would be a great way to meet and support vendors in my home borough. Show the Brooklyn love! I thought we would be able to ask specific questions about the two venues between which we are choosing. I thought wrong.

So evidently wedding fairs are really nothing more than the internet, except here it jumps off your screen and shoves a business card in your face. Oh yeah, and there’s really loud music blaring the whole time that you can’t mute. It was not conducive at all to conversation. What’s more, out of the 20+ vendors, only ONE (Shootbooth, picture and link below) had any type of package or pricing information readily available. Not that I expected to get into a bidding war between macaroons, but I was hoping for more than cheesy sales pitches. I even tried to prompt one of the caterers there by mentioning my interest in a venue they have a lot of experience working with, hoping she would launch into some descriptions of past wedding menus or floor plans. To my disappointment, all I got was an “Oh, uh huh, that’s a nice space.” Hm....

Lovebug and I paid $25 each to attend. I tried to guzzle my money’s worth of prosecco and pomegranate mini martinis, but I came up sorely short. Aside from a couple freebies (which weren’t really free because now all those companies have my email address) and a list of don’t-hire-thems-because-they-were-weird, I was really disappointed with my decision to spend a perfectly good Sunday in this manner.


These fairs are really the epitome of the wedding-industrial complex. Enter at your own expense! They feed on emotions, excitement, alcohol-induced decision making and an “if you have to ask, you can't afford it” mentality. And they introduce you to all the “extras” that you probably didn’t think you needed, like additional desserts, add-on photography products, spa packages, personal training classes, dance lessons, cosmetic procedures... crazy pants in my opinion! Plus the economics make no sense to me. Vendors have to pay the event to present. Guests have to pay to attend. Seems like these wedding fair producers are making bank for providing a whole lotta nothing! Now that is one party I do NOT need to crash!

Shootbooth photo booth freebie

Weekend words of wisdom

Planning a wedding requires GRACE. What do I mean? Grace is the wisdom that the amount of money you spend on a wedding is not directly proportional to how successful or fun it will be. It's a calm, quiet confidence, even when things don't go as planned (which will inevitably happen). It's humility, perspective and a sense of humor. It's the beauty of simplicity, and the simplicity of beauty.

And most importantly, Grace is the restraint to not compare your day with that girl you saw on that other blog. You know THAT girl, the one with the Pantene hair, in the one-of-a-kind albino ostriche feather gown getting serenaded by Tony Bennet and Lil Wayne (what a combo!) at her Plaza reception of 500. Because, really, you don't want to be her anyway. Who has time for 500 friends?

Just remember when things start to get out of hand to always maintain your Grace!

All About Me and the Way Too Much Wedding Manifesto

OK, so obviously I am newly engaged and have been thrust into the wonderful world of wedding planning! I'm a researcher by vocation and nature, so naturally my first reaction after securing that sparkly rock on my finger was to hit the internet and subscribe to all the mushy, girly flower blogs I have been avoiding for the past 28 years of my life.

Not that I'm a tomboy- the truth is I have been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl (most unoriginal statement of the blog, I promise), but I'm not a pick the dress before the man kinda lady. But seeing all the gorgeous brides with their gorgeous beaus and their gorgeous gowns, venues, shoes, flowers etc. got me pretty excited. And after speaking with my parents about the dreaded budget, I came out of the meeting relieved and even more excited because we discussed a number that seemed reasonable.

But I live in NYC. So my reasonable number is what New York Magazine calls a "medium to low budget" wedding. So. Depressing. This is a lot of money people! At least it is to me and my family. Not like need to sell-your-eggs to make the bills a lot, but still, this could be a down payment on some crappy condo in Bushwick. Did I mention I live in NYC?

Anyways, through my extensive research into possible venues in the NYC area, I found myself constantly seeking some commiseration from brides like me. Ladies who have jobs and other passions in life beyond a wedding, ladies who *HAVE* wedding budgets, ladies who want a nice wedding but don't want to dip into the down payment fund. I know you're out there, but unfortunately, we seem to get lost in the 20 ft. ivory lace train of the Ivankas of the world.

And really, I know that vendors have no incentive for us to band together! They WANT us to feel like we're the only ones with a budget. That we are not only supposed to bust our budget, but we're supposed to beat it to a bloody orange-glazed red snapper pulp, and put it on a mini puff pastry, no doubt.

So where does that leave me? Right here. On the trusty internet and speaking for all of the ladies who want a wedding, but don't want too much wedding. For everyone who believes that the wedding-industrial complex has gotten a little outta hand, and those crazy bitches on all my favorite reality TV shows don't help either!

As I said in my first post, let's get together to plan a great day, vent about how life is sometimes unfair and poke fun at the unnecessary indulgences of WTMW brides who are weak enough to succumb to the marketing forces that be and waste a whole lotta money on some really dumb crap. But, ya know, in a silly non-malicious way. Cause they'll all just say we're jealous ;)

And the truth is, no matter what our wedding budgets are, we're all incredibly blessed!

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."
~Oscar Wilde

Too Trendy

Are you as sick of trendy weddings as me? Those "unique and personal" touches that show up over and over again in wedding photos? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills because oftentimes they don't seem make sense! Sure, it probably made sense to that first bride who did something cool and different, but 100 iterations later, it's just evidence that these poor brides have suffered from Way Too Much Wedding Syndrome! Sometimes I can't help but laugh when I imagine some lazy wedding planner convincing his/her clients the he/she is so "creative" and actually charging money for these recycled ideas!

So without further ado, I introduce to you my newest series, Too Trendy. Each post will highlight one of these trends that have the potential to steer our special days off course and into the Way Too Much Wedding category.

Today's inaugural trend is.......

The Mustache Picture!

(Clockwise from top left: Robert Sukrachand, Dave Robbins, Elle Jae, Di Bezi, Di Bezi, Dawn E. Roscoe, Robert Sukrachand)*

Who are you? A quirky, outer-borough hipster who loves kitschy art, independent film and above all, being different. Though, based the evidence, there seems to be a glut of "different". And really? Is the mustache something important to you? Do you covet the mustache (but not enough to marry someone with a real mustache)? Does it really warrant a special shout out on your most special day?

So unless all of the above are true for you, steer clear of the mustache pics! They are so done. A wedding is your day- make it truly personal and if you want to spend money on extra touches, choose ones that are meaningful to you!

That's all for today :)


*Disclaimer: While I may be poking fun at a trend, I am including photos from photographers, many of whom I admire greatly, and in no way mean to degrade their art. Nor do I doubt that these are lovely brides and grooms who have worked with lovely vendors. But WTMW Syndrome can happen to anyone- so beware!

Way Too Much

Hello There-

Welcome to Way Too Much Wedding! This is a "safe blog" and sanity check for anyone attempting to plan a wedding on a budget in or around New York City (or anywhere really). Albeit, an amazing, memorable, magical, not-depressingly-bare-bones-in-the-school-gym-or-lacking-food/alcohol/dancing-or-all-of-the-above wedding.

Seriously, things can get outta hand really quick, can't they? So lets plan, vent, plan some more, open our wallets when it's worth it and laugh at the Miffy and Buffys who solve every problem by adding (another) 5 foot tall Grecian pedestal rose arrangement.

We're getting married. This is FUN!


Future Way Too Much Wedding Reader!