Weekend Words of Wisdom

Source: The Paris Apartment

Don't let wedding planning make you lose your grip on reality!

I just fell in love with this photo. It's not my Pearl Bear, but now I'm going to have to run home and snap one just like it!

Have a lovely sane weekend!

Photoshop FAIL

Via

How many legs do side tables usually need?

Weekend Words of Wisdom

Here's to living in the Moment!

Photos: EpLove, Joshua Behan, Paul Atherton Photography, Ben Godkin all via Moment Junkie

I just discovered a new blog called Moment Junkie- it's a very well-curated collection of wedding photojournalism from all over the world.  I just love the photos and hope to find a photographer worthy of this site!

You'll love it!

Happy Weekend!

If you do nothing else today...

(including your job), you HAVE to check out this link from friend and coworker Sara Schaefer just showed me:

 Via Sad and Useless

I think these pretty much speak for themselves.  Follow the link, there are more.

Spring Oreos!

Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine eats the $29,000 slice of King Edward VIII's wedding cake that her boss won at an auction because she has an addiction to afternoon sweets?

Well that is EXACTLY what I have. Practically every day there are sweets sent to our show and I can never pass them up. So on the off days where there's nothing in the kitchen, I turn into a sugar fiend. My latest obsession is Spring Oreos. They are far better than regular Oreos because they have yellow centers. This makes them sublime. The best fiance ever has to run out and buy them for me when we get low. It's that bad. I'm either going to appear as the first ever Oreo-addict on Intervention, or I'm going to figure out a way to incorporate them into my wedding.

Top left image from Martha Stewart Weddings

I love the tiered Oreo cake!  But with my Spring Oreos of course.  I only have had 4 left.

I wonder if anyone else has ever determined their wedding color palette based upon a Nabisco product?


P.S.  In case you were wondering, my addiction to Spring Oreos has unfortunately not made spring come any quicker here in NYC.

March Madness!

Taking a little breather from wedding planning and heading to Newark tomorrow to cheer on my Tar Heels! They will be facing Kentucky in the Elite 8 game.

GO HEELS!

Honor Roll

Today's honor roll goes to...

Priscilla of Boston!

All photos from Priscilla of Boston website.

Now that I've begun wedding dress shopping, I guess I have tulle on the brain or something.  Though I haven't tried on any Priscilla gowns yet, I just love anything that saves me time and the Priscilla website posts the prices of their gowns online!  I KNOW, crazy pants.  Crazy skirts rather.  And this includes their other gown lines like Melissa Sweet and Vineyard AND select gowns from Vera Wang's Fall 2010 line.

So yeah, if you couldn't already tell, I'm a numbers girl.  I like removing emotion and alcohol from all my monetary-exchanging decisions and knowing when a dress is affordable is a great way to not make an emotionally charged Way Too Much Wedding decision.

However, if you are a sneaky internet scrounger like me, you may have noticed that you can figure out the price of many wedding gowns that won't post their prices online (boo) by going to one of the following sites:
Preowned Wedding Dresses
OnceWed
Recyced Bride

These sites are primarily for girls looking to buy or sell second-hand gowns, but I've found them an invaluable resource for figuring out the retail price for many popular gowns.  Sellers must post the retail value along with their for sale price, so voilà!  Mystery solved.  And, as wedding costs continue to spiral more and more out of control, you can certainly count on more of these sites popping up in the future!  So now we've got that going for us...

It was through one of these sites that I was able to sever my love affair with the Vera Wang Esther dress.  As if learning that it was Ivanka Trump's dress of choice wasn't enough of a hint...

Sources: Getty via US Weekly and Vera Wang

With that said, I promise that not all of my Honor Roll inductees will be based on their ability to post rates online.  Although it helps, don't you think?

Check out my previous Honor Roll Inductee:
Brooklyn Botanic Garden

Good Humor

If you couldn't tell already, humor is very important to me. In fact, I never pass up a chance to take myself less seriously. I feel that a sense of humor is equally important when planning a wedding and an excellent defense against WTMWS.

Here are a few brides and grooms (and photographers!!!) who seem to share my sarcastic brand of humor:




Sources: Lilian Haidar, 4 Eyes, Rentsch, Jeremy Harris, Julie Wilhite via Style Me Pretty and Nordica Photography via Moment Junkie.


The cab driver is amazing.

Sheep not included.

Pnina Tornai gown via Kleinfeld

I just started looking for wedding dresses, and as part of my NYC wedding education, I feel it is absolutely necessary to make an appointment at Kleinfeld. THE Kleinfeld, of Say Yes to the Dress fame. It's the only place they sell Pnina Tornai gowns evidently, so if I want to look like the finest Bo Peep $10,000+ can buy (according to the Kleinfeld $$$$$ price key), this is my only shot!

I'm not doing the show. Don't even ask.

Stock Weddings

A large portion of my job entails spending hours sifting through stock photo websites in search of photos we can use on the show (oh by the way I work for a TV show in NYC). Curiosity got the best of me and I did a search for wedding photos... and WOW. Stock photos are awesome. They usually involve some of the worst, most unnatural acting I've ever seen. Plus, they spare every expense when it comes to wardrobe, hair, styling, etc. Just take a look at the below photos! Enjoy!

The Awkward Pose

Be one with the rock. Work it. Own it, 90's Courtney Cox.

Suck it in! Don't worry, no one will notice!

I always hoped for a full moon on my wedding!

One hand on knee, one on hip. A classic.

Excedrin for Brides

This shotgun wedding just got interesting!

She's soooo ready to tie the knot

I'm ready for my virgin sacrifice!

This pose looked so cute when I was 5...

I shouldn't be wearing white!

If you have better captions, add them in the comments!

Sources: All photos Thinkstock, except Photo 3 SuperStock

Honor Roll- The Brooklyn Botanic Garden

After a whole week of waiting, here it is!

It's official! I'm getting married at the Palm House at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden! Sweetums and I are so excited!

Photos by David Lindner via Palm House at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

I had such a major crush on this venue, and throughout the whole process of researching hundreds of locations and visiting about a dozen, I really hoped we could work it out here!

It goes without saying that any vendor I choose for my wedding will be Honor Roll-worthy. Life's too short to work with Snotty Pantses or Douchey McSucksalots, right? The Palm House makes my honor roll for the following reasons:

1.) First and foremost, they were very straightforward with their pricing. It's posted right on their website- unheard of! I love when companies respect my time and my desire to not be humiliated in person when the inevitable NY wedding-on-steroids pricing is revealed.

2.) Secondly, they were open to negotiation, which is KEY for me. I don't know where it came from, but I have some sort of recessive bartering gene that I did not get from my parents. Nevertheless, every big expense for me needs to be a discussion, not a one-sided boy-are-you-lucky-you-can-afford-me situation.

3.) As an extension of #2, they never made that tight lipped "Oh THAT'S your budget!?" look. They respected what we had to spend and worked with us. Refreshing!

4.) Finally, to some venues I spoke with and visited, pretentiousness seemed to be a perk. This could not be further from the truth at the BBG. The event coordinator and the head caterer are so warm and welcoming. They are total pros.

I hope to compile a list of Honor Roll venues and vendors as this site (hopefully) grows. Obviously I will not have first-hand experience in every situation so I encourage you to email me with other businesses worthy of my Honor Roll!

Must Not Haves!

Source: Beautylish via Racked

What are the chances Kate will get herself a set of these for her wedding?

Too Trendy

This week's trend is.... wait for it.... wait for it.... wait another hundred years for it...


Antique Furniture Outdoors!

I might have alluded to my frustration with this emerging trend in yesterday's post, but I really do think this warrants its very own Too Trendy spotlight. And yes, I totally blame faux wedding shoots for this one.

Sources (from top left): Gabriel Ryan via 100 Layer Cake, Dana Grant via Ruffled, Twin Hearts via Project Wedding, Brent Van Auken via Ruffled, Brent Van Auken, Leo Patrone, Ben Blood via Style Me Pretty, CSE Photography via Every Last Detail*

You: Are more of a George Clooney than a Jake Gyllenhaal kinda gal. You buy jeans with pre-made holes, drink out of jam jars, have at least one room in your home that looks like it's from an Anthropologie catalog and fail to see the humor in Portlandia.

But you just can't decide whether to have your wedding in an historic mansion or outdoors! Now you can do both! Bring the living room, kitchen, hell bring the whole attic too! Old things are so full of mystery, character and charm. Other people's old things that you rented from a musty warehouse in Queens and had carted in by brawny Italian men must have all the more mystery, character and charm! Why is there an old clock on top of a stack of suitcases? Only your wedding planner knows!

This trend sure does look warm, homey and effortless doesn't it? But in the timeless wisdom of Billy Joel, "Everybody's talkin' bout the new fashion honey. You can't dress trashy until you spend a lot of money."


Check out my previous Too Trendy posts!
Cupcakes
Mustache Pics


*Disclaimer: While I may be poking fun at a trend, I am including photos from photographers, many of whom I admire greatly, and in no way mean to degrade their art. Nor do I doubt that these are lovely brides and grooms who have worked with lovely vendors. But WTMW Syndrome can happen to anyone- so beware!

Wedding Shoots

It's Monday, I'm back at work after a week off and I'm tired. Not to be all whiny and everything, but I lost an hour of sleep this past weekend. It was just STOLEN from me in a collective effort by my DVR, Droid Phone and every person I talked to. So yeah, pity me.

But I suppose I'm in the perfect mood to introduce today's post on.........

FAUX WEDDING SHOOTS!


Who doesn't want a Lady GaGa themed wedding?

Not one guest will be able to keep their Poker Face!


Lose all your Sense and Sensibility with this Jane Austen themed shoot!

Via Grey Likes Weddings

Antique furniture really is best kept outside exposed to the elements. And don't bother to question the birdcage- everyone has birdcages at weddings now so they make so much sense. They are the perfect symbol of marriage, don't you think?


Or better yet, Black Swan your wedding! The perfect marriage of eating disorders and mental disorders!

Via Green Wedding Shoes

You'll still have to find your own hateful bridesmaids. Making them wear leotards is a good start.


These shoots are super helpful when trying to plan a wedding for, oh, 8 people. And by all means, wedding stylists, please continue to spend lots of money on these shoots so you can transfer the costs and unrealistic expectations onto real people who hire you for real events!

Introducing Earl

I'm pro marriage.

For equality, yes. But also for all the bastard pet babies that need to be legitimized.

We'll be making an honest cat out of Earl the Pearl Rodgers-Benson on April 27, 2012!

Weekend words of wisdom

Happy Weekend!

Anxiety Bridesmaid Edition

Now that I've picked a venue (to be announced next week!), my thoughts have turned to the next decision, which is choosing my bridesmaids. Seeing as how I feel like the mismatched sock of the wedding laundry basket, I'm stressed about choosing a bridal party.Why? Not because I don't have friends. No, because I know how much everyone hates bridesmaid dresses!

Doesn't every bride always dismisses the "ugly bridesmaid dress" convention- "MY bridesmaid dresses are soooooo wearable, everyone will want to wear it again! This justifies the price. Spend away! You will LOVE it and wear it all the time and when we see each other in the future I just know you'll go on and on and on about how much you LOVED the bridesmaid dress and how I have the best taste and am really an EXPERT at selecting bridesmaid dresses!" (Cut to bridesmaid biting the skin off her lower lip as she writes out that fat check for the dress that makes her look fat.)

I'm not so delusional. The CHOSEN ONES may not like the dress I pick. I hope they'll still like me either way! It's just one night. And I promise I won't purposefully make you look bad, it's just that we have different tastes and I'm more of a rising Aquarius and you're more of a waxing Leo and well, clearly I know nothing about astrology, or astronomy for that matter, but will you forgive me anyway and please be in my wedding party? Ok, cool, I got that off my chest.

Anyways, here's the card I really want to send to my prospective maids:

Source: someecards

If only I could change it to say "Will you attend my beautiful wedding in a hideous bridesmaid dress?" So much more fitting than the standard Will You Be My Bridesmaid? card, don't you think?

Honor Roll

As I venture where every married woman has gone before, I'm learning all about the sneaky marketing tricks businesses use to provide the service of helping you part with your paychecks. Don't think because these wedding businesses are run by women with heart-shaped jewelry and frosted lipstick that they are going to be as soft and fuzzy with their pricing!

I channeled the business major in me and jotted down a couple of the scenarios to watch out for!

The Bait and Switch
-Oooh this photography package only costs one dollar sign? But wait, if I want a human photographer it costs two dollar signs? And then it's another three dollar signs to actually develop the film???

The "Platinum" Package
-You're worth it. You only get married once. Or, you only get married twice and this time you better do it right! Did I mention you're worth it?

The Schwag
-Pay for the Mercedes of flower packages, including the lifesize Mercedes MADE out of flowers, and we'll throw in this super awesome keychain in the shape of a flower FOR FREE! Why haven't you signed up yet? For you, we'll throw in a tote bag!

The All-Exclusive
-The venue fee includes the walls, the floors and the roof. If you want lights, that's extra. If you want heat or A/C, that's extra. If you want sound, that's extra. If you want the outside, that's extra... you get the idea.




So, to keep things positive and solution-oriented here on Way Too Much Wedding, I am going to begin my Honor Roll series where each week I will highlight a business that passes my No B.S. standard. These are businesses that respect our time, our intelligence and our money! They are the people who go out of their way to make us feel special and NOT just after they find out we want the Platinum Package (you don't need the Platinum Package! See above).

Next Wednesday I will announce the first business to make my Honor Roll- and it just so happens to be the venue I booked for my own wedding!!! The lovebug and I booked this past weekend and we are so excited! I can't to share it with everyone next week!

Until then, enjoy the cliffhanger :)

Ring Envy

Ok, I said I wasn't going to do this on the blog, but I just CANNOT resist.

Have you ever heard of or visited the site Ring Envy? It's tacky, horrifying and basically the embodiment of everything that is wrong with weddings nowadays.

And yet... like a new pair of silicone fun bags on the Real Housewives, I cannot turn away! I'm addicted, though not for the reasons I imagine the women who post would expect. I just can't help but judge the $$$$$ring/fake nail combo! I'm a bad person I know.

What do you think? Am I being too harsh?

DIY or Die!

Dear Wedding,
I thought I was going to have you, but in the end you had me. Well played.

This woman's letter to her wedding scares me.

While I applaud the thrifty DIY aspirations, it sounds like a generally miserable experience and a perfect example of WTMWS.

"I thought my head would explode from making invitations and dresses and finding plates and utensils and tablecloths and buying food and agonizing over finding a suit and making sure everyone got there and planning the ceremony and realizing last minute I wanted flowers and making bouquets and feeling guilty about wanting to arrange them myself and making signs and cards and decorations and basically asking everyone I know to show me their love through sheer hard labor."

And...

"You [the wedding] also made my husband and I fight so much that we almost didn't get married."

YIKES! A cautionary tale for overly ambitious DIYers! Don't say you haven't been warned!

Weekend Words of Wisdom

It's easy when planning a wedding to get, as my fiance puts it, "Wedding Goggles." $5000 site fee? Cheap! Only $3500 for a dress? Affordable! A wedding album for $800? A STEAL!

It's times like these that I have to remind myself that this is a whole bunch of money, for one day. And I've already got everything I need to be happy.

So take a deep breath and always remember to:

Keep.

Your.

Perspective.

Royally Reasonable

Copyright AP Images, via The Washington Post

Could it be possible that Will and Kate are avoiding WTMWS? Reasonable and Royal tend to not fall in the same sentence, but I love the vein of this article from real estate blog Curbed!

"Presumably in preparation for an upcoming appearance on Rich Bride, Poor Bride, a British couple named William and Kate toured several rental ballrooms in Slough, England, before deciding to save a little money by holding their wedding reception at his grandmother's house instead."

I. Love. It.
And check out where the lovely couple plans to honeymoon! How tastefully understated!

Oh the Irony!

Brooklyn is known for it's hipsters and their ironic penchant for irony. But the other day, while researching venues, I came across a fantastic example of matrimonial irony right here in my 'hood:

The Williamsburg Savings Bank

The site fee is $15k (rumor has it they'll lower that to $12.5k for local Brooklynites).

Though pricey, I do think this is a gorgeous event space if you can afford it AND have enough of a sense of humor to recognize that dropping bank to have your wedding IN a bank is pretty freaking funny. You can even have your reception in the vault! No need to mail in the check, just leave it at the alter!

If this place weren't so damn beautiful, the Williamsburg trustafarians would be all over it.

Since I would have to drain my bank account for this bank wedding, I'll keep looking for venues. But if I did choose this place, I would totally have jars of lollipops and dog biscuits at every table. You could even make your thank you notes look like checks!

Too Trendy

This week's edition of Too Trendy highlights a trend that is not new, but so in your face out there that I couldn't resist:

Cupcakes!

Clockwise from top left: Robert Sukrachand, Leo Patrone via Style Me Pretty, Karen Wise, Belathée and Jen Huang

*
You: Love your mini cooper, HBO miniseries, running mini marathons and your miniature collie. You just LOVE miniatures! And your wedding cake is no exception! Especially since that brand new cupcake specialty bakery opened up right down the street (not THAT brand new specialty cupcake shop, the other one). Cupcakes are the next revolution! LET THEM EAT (cup)CAKE!

Except, that since everyone now likes their cakes in the shape of cups, these individual-sized dollops of delight are now ridiculously expensive. Like, just as, if not more, expensive as a real wedding cake. So a noble thought, but no brownie points from me. Brownies? BROWNIES?!!! I think I smell another trend...

Check out my previous Too Trendy post!
Mustache Pics


*Disclaimer: While I may be poking fun at a trend, I am including photos from photographers, many of whom I admire greatly, and in no way mean to degrade their art. Nor do I doubt that these are lovely brides and grooms who have worked with lovely vendors. But WTMW Syndrome can happen to anyone- so beware!

Wedding Crashers

This weekend my sweetie and I attended our very first (and possibly last) wedding fair. In typical outlaw outer-borough fashion it was called "Wedding Crashers" and was comprised of only Brooklyn-based vendors. While wedding crashers conjures images of rejecting convention, I found none of the vendors or guests to be particularly anti-establishment. I'm pretty that everyone there (like me) was a ticket-paying invitee.

This was just your standard frou-frou scary wedding fair. And I should have known better. The the guerrilla wedding free-for-all event is so not my style! And from what I learned, we were only at a “small, intimate” show.

Drink up! You're gonna need it!

Though I left wondering what the hell motivated me to go to one of these things, I actually DO remember what I was thinking when I signed up for the event. I thought we would be able to gain specific information from vendors who have ample experience producing weddings in the Brooklyn and NYC area. I thought this would be a great way to meet and support vendors in my home borough. Show the Brooklyn love! I thought we would be able to ask specific questions about the two venues between which we are choosing. I thought wrong.

So evidently wedding fairs are really nothing more than the internet, except here it jumps off your screen and shoves a business card in your face. Oh yeah, and there’s really loud music blaring the whole time that you can’t mute. It was not conducive at all to conversation. What’s more, out of the 20+ vendors, only ONE (Shootbooth, picture and link below) had any type of package or pricing information readily available. Not that I expected to get into a bidding war between macaroons, but I was hoping for more than cheesy sales pitches. I even tried to prompt one of the caterers there by mentioning my interest in a venue they have a lot of experience working with, hoping she would launch into some descriptions of past wedding menus or floor plans. To my disappointment, all I got was an “Oh, uh huh, that’s a nice space.” Hm....

Lovebug and I paid $25 each to attend. I tried to guzzle my money’s worth of prosecco and pomegranate mini martinis, but I came up sorely short. Aside from a couple freebies (which weren’t really free because now all those companies have my email address) and a list of don’t-hire-thems-because-they-were-weird, I was really disappointed with my decision to spend a perfectly good Sunday in this manner.


These fairs are really the epitome of the wedding-industrial complex. Enter at your own expense! They feed on emotions, excitement, alcohol-induced decision making and an “if you have to ask, you can't afford it” mentality. And they introduce you to all the “extras” that you probably didn’t think you needed, like additional desserts, add-on photography products, spa packages, personal training classes, dance lessons, cosmetic procedures... crazy pants in my opinion! Plus the economics make no sense to me. Vendors have to pay the event to present. Guests have to pay to attend. Seems like these wedding fair producers are making bank for providing a whole lotta nothing! Now that is one party I do NOT need to crash!

Shootbooth photo booth freebie

Weekend words of wisdom

Planning a wedding requires GRACE. What do I mean? Grace is the wisdom that the amount of money you spend on a wedding is not directly proportional to how successful or fun it will be. It's a calm, quiet confidence, even when things don't go as planned (which will inevitably happen). It's humility, perspective and a sense of humor. It's the beauty of simplicity, and the simplicity of beauty.

And most importantly, Grace is the restraint to not compare your day with that girl you saw on that other blog. You know THAT girl, the one with the Pantene hair, in the one-of-a-kind albino ostriche feather gown getting serenaded by Tony Bennet and Lil Wayne (what a combo!) at her Plaza reception of 500. Because, really, you don't want to be her anyway. Who has time for 500 friends?

Just remember when things start to get out of hand to always maintain your Grace!

All About Me and the Way Too Much Wedding Manifesto

OK, so obviously I am newly engaged and have been thrust into the wonderful world of wedding planning! I'm a researcher by vocation and nature, so naturally my first reaction after securing that sparkly rock on my finger was to hit the internet and subscribe to all the mushy, girly flower blogs I have been avoiding for the past 28 years of my life.

Not that I'm a tomboy- the truth is I have been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl (most unoriginal statement of the blog, I promise), but I'm not a pick the dress before the man kinda lady. But seeing all the gorgeous brides with their gorgeous beaus and their gorgeous gowns, venues, shoes, flowers etc. got me pretty excited. And after speaking with my parents about the dreaded budget, I came out of the meeting relieved and even more excited because we discussed a number that seemed reasonable.

But I live in NYC. So my reasonable number is what New York Magazine calls a "medium to low budget" wedding. So. Depressing. This is a lot of money people! At least it is to me and my family. Not like need to sell-your-eggs to make the bills a lot, but still, this could be a down payment on some crappy condo in Bushwick. Did I mention I live in NYC?

Anyways, through my extensive research into possible venues in the NYC area, I found myself constantly seeking some commiseration from brides like me. Ladies who have jobs and other passions in life beyond a wedding, ladies who *HAVE* wedding budgets, ladies who want a nice wedding but don't want to dip into the down payment fund. I know you're out there, but unfortunately, we seem to get lost in the 20 ft. ivory lace train of the Ivankas of the world.

And really, I know that vendors have no incentive for us to band together! They WANT us to feel like we're the only ones with a budget. That we are not only supposed to bust our budget, but we're supposed to beat it to a bloody orange-glazed red snapper pulp, and put it on a mini puff pastry, no doubt.

So where does that leave me? Right here. On the trusty internet and speaking for all of the ladies who want a wedding, but don't want too much wedding. For everyone who believes that the wedding-industrial complex has gotten a little outta hand, and those crazy bitches on all my favorite reality TV shows don't help either!

As I said in my first post, let's get together to plan a great day, vent about how life is sometimes unfair and poke fun at the unnecessary indulgences of WTMW brides who are weak enough to succumb to the marketing forces that be and waste a whole lotta money on some really dumb crap. But, ya know, in a silly non-malicious way. Cause they'll all just say we're jealous ;)

And the truth is, no matter what our wedding budgets are, we're all incredibly blessed!

"Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not."
~Oscar Wilde