Anxiety Bridesmaid Edition

Now that I've picked a venue (to be announced next week!), my thoughts have turned to the next decision, which is choosing my bridesmaids. Seeing as how I feel like the mismatched sock of the wedding laundry basket, I'm stressed about choosing a bridal party.Why? Not because I don't have friends. No, because I know how much everyone hates bridesmaid dresses!

Doesn't every bride always dismisses the "ugly bridesmaid dress" convention- "MY bridesmaid dresses are soooooo wearable, everyone will want to wear it again! This justifies the price. Spend away! You will LOVE it and wear it all the time and when we see each other in the future I just know you'll go on and on and on about how much you LOVED the bridesmaid dress and how I have the best taste and am really an EXPERT at selecting bridesmaid dresses!" (Cut to bridesmaid biting the skin off her lower lip as she writes out that fat check for the dress that makes her look fat.)

I'm not so delusional. The CHOSEN ONES may not like the dress I pick. I hope they'll still like me either way! It's just one night. And I promise I won't purposefully make you look bad, it's just that we have different tastes and I'm more of a rising Aquarius and you're more of a waxing Leo and well, clearly I know nothing about astrology, or astronomy for that matter, but will you forgive me anyway and please be in my wedding party? Ok, cool, I got that off my chest.

Anyways, here's the card I really want to send to my prospective maids:

Source: someecards

If only I could change it to say "Will you attend my beautiful wedding in a hideous bridesmaid dress?" So much more fitting than the standard Will You Be My Bridesmaid? card, don't you think?